Well, today I attended a dance. It was friendly enough to begin with, but I saw more tears than smiles. And I know I wasn’t the only one bottling them up. When I got to the dance, I felt ugly. I felt like I was overlooked by my model looking friends. And now, as I sit here typing, I bite my lip to keep tears in again. It’s normal, you’ve heard the sob story before, but I’m going to go into why.
Why is it I care that I’m not looked at as pretty? Why do I care that my friends are all models? Why do I care that guys like me even if I’m in love with another girl!? Adolescence is hard enough. Why not throw in some sexuality realizations just to shake it up?
Because no matter what age you get you want to be accepted so badly. But in Jr. High it rides on everything. I think I only had one happy moment. I can’t remember her name I gave her, we’ll change it to Peach, the girl I’m head over heels for! Peach was off to see her boyfriend today *grumble grumble* and she didn’t come to the dance. But at the end when she came to pick up my friend Starburst, she came out of the car and gave me one giant hug. *Butterflies* Then as she got into the car, she yelled “You look very pretty tonight.” Perhaps there is some hope for love in this world of confusion.
Riot’s status: Overly HappyGreatfulExtremely HappyIdol Worship’s BFF Just right.
Riot saw Cobra Starship and Forever the Sickest Kids a few nights ago. Life changing? Probably. Yes, teen fangirls are still sprouting up through the world. I will admit, when I wasn’t screaming and fighting off people with my elbows, I was staring at these guys, my idols, with that kind of sparkle that says “I love you so damn much!” But what’s up with me and girls my age swooning over androgynous guys?
My joke is “Just androgynous that no one feels gay.” But I’m beginning to find truth in that. Guys love to watch them, and it’s often that they aren’t talented at all! I do believe my generation has ulterior motives, and it only just hit me.
Oh well, Riot is content, and she’ll go into the science of it on another day when she’s done swooning.
As of right now I’m declaring myself delirious. But I know I’ll forget to do this tomorrow. Riot has recently been listening to Nightmare Before Christmas. One of her favorite tracks is “Kidnap the Sandy Claws- She Wants Revenge”
